Huawei Spanking Monkey
08/27/2025
Proudly announcing brand-spanking new and refined Huawei 打屁股的猴子 (Spanking Monkey) high-performance autonomous massage table
Number one device for Pai Da massage, number 2 for Dao Liao (formerly number 1).
Highly optimized for ideal feng shui, 100% harmonious or 10% money back
Leather colour different each time, never know what you will receive!
Will monitor sleep behaviour while giving special Spanking Monkey night-time massage. Wake up very refreshed with clear mind!
Adaptive spank level ensure honesty. If want more spank, monkey will ;)
Medium aggressiveness
High circumference
IMPORTANT DISCLOSURE
Spanking monkey automatically detect reactionary sentiment. Will spank harder if reaction is reactionary
1. Do not lie to spanking monkey
2. If friend in house monkey must spank them
3. Set to child mode for all infant
STORAGE
1. No spanking monkey upside-down. Bad fortune
2. Always oil monkey leather to ensure supple performance
3. No spanking monkey in shower
DATA COLLECTION POLICY
Monkey always know
DATA RETENTION POLICY
Monkey always remember